Most Zambian ladies who fail to get married at a certain stage and age must have used one or more of these reasons as an excuse.
A visit to most churches in the country will convince many people that there are many single women who are looking for husbands. Most of these ladies are well to do, pretty and independent women who will make good wives.
But one gets worried why they are not married even when they are well past the ages most ladies get married.
There are various reasons for these ladies becoming senior spinsters and why they are where they are.
Let us look at eight of those reasons even though there are so many reasons for this.
1. Search for the perfect man
Most ladies who end up becoming old spinsters must have waited in vain for Mr Perfect and while the suitors kept coming, no man was ever good enough for her.
It was either the men were not rich enough, handsome enough, not tall enough, was not romantic enough or was not good enough in bed.
They build castles in the sky on the kind of perfect man they want, becoming choosy and dump the serious men that came their ways and in the end, the search would continue into their old ages.
2. Miss Independent
Some ladies seem to give more attention to their careers in a bid to become independent and do not have the time to get married when their mates were doing so.
They pay more attention to their careers and neglect their private lives but by the time they realise, time is far gone and they start running from pillar to post looking for any available man.
Some of them who managed to get into relationships fail to balance their affairs and professional time, paying little or no attention to the feelings of their partners even when their partners complain bitterly.
They are quick to tell any man that they are independent and can stay on their own without any man dictating to them.
Most ladies have taken feminism to another level with their constant advocacy for women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.
They feel thy have equal rights with men and as such, no man can tell them what to do. By so doing, they place themselves on a pedestal that makes it difficult for the men to approach them.
Some of them do not know where to draw a line and keep saying they do not need a husband to be fulfilled. This may be true but everyone needs a companion in old age.
4. The eligible men are not ready for marriage
Most ladies will quickly say that the eligible men are not ready to get married as some of them are either jobless or struggling to make ends meet.
This also means that most of the men who are old enough to get married do not have the means of doing so because they are working tirelessly to make ends meet while some of the men want to have all the money possible before getting married.
5. Experience of past heartbreaks
Some women are very emotional when it comes to relationships and when they are hurt, they find it difficult to get past it and move on with their lives.
This goes to show that some ladies who have gone through several heartbreaks find it very difficult to ever give men another chance in their lives as they always tend to think that all men are the same.
They put on a very strong front once their relationship becomes a disaster, especially when they were expectant of marriage in the relationship.
Some ladies are so lazy that they do want to be involved in domestic chores. Many of these are either caused by their parents who either over-pampered them or refused to allow them to take part in household chores.
Most of them forget they are Africans and believe as the world has moved on, men should also move on and not expect them to stoop so low to do the domestic chores.
Some women are so difficult to manage that it becomes virtually impossible for any man to keep them in check.
Such ladies believe they are always right and no matter a man does, she would want to let him know she knows better than him.
Men want women they can control and not the ones that would challenge them in their homes.
8. Double dating
Most women who indulge in keeping many men at the same time find it difficult to settle down with one of the men because there are things they are attached to in each of them.
They erroneously believe they cannot put all their eggs in one basket and as a result, they get confused and end up losing the one person who was ready to take the relationship to the next level.
Many ladies spend most of their youths indulging in frivolities like partying non-stop and flirting around and when they are ready to settle down, the men would stop coming.
9. Family expectations
So families indirectly make it difficult for their daughters to get married with the high expectations they put on them and their husbands-to-be.
In some societies, it is known that getting married can be very expensive ans as such, men dread getting married from such places and in such a situation, the ladies would end up without a husband for many years.
10. Pressure from family
Some families also put undue pressure on their daughters to get married and take up some responsibilities in the home. The ladies in turn put pressure on the man they are dating to come home and do the right thing.
Some men would not like to withstand such pressures and for them, the sensible thing to do is to get out of the relationship fast so as not to be bugged down.